For T.

Written by Antonia on January 11th, 2012

Dear T.

whenever I need a reminder on any essential facts of life, I find it in the Nature. I take a walk and just observe, inhale, let go of any presuppositions and assumptions and just allow myself to… be. It often feels like taking off the layers of inherited or adopted cloaks, capes and robes or like relieving a lens from various filters that are supposed to protect its delicate and expensive inner structure or enhance/improve/change what is, all in the name of “adapting to circumstances”.

All very useful yet not at that particular time when “being in the Nature” means being in tune with the lightest part of me, the one that judges not and asks for no approval of its being, the one that needs no protection and needs not to protect, control or supervise yet just…is. Such Nature includes a walk by the sea, around trees as well as synchronistic events involving people – experiencing human nature and the nature of a tree as a naked creation of joyous, light, smiling vibrations.

And all is well and all is a well of one extraordinary, nourishing reality.

 

It works for me, for you, something else might be a source of a relief, reassurance, energy, pure joy… Something you can pull out when those “It’s too much” feelings shake the imaginary reality. I can’t say I created those moments, they sort of happen once I…yes, now I’ll put in the famous “let go” expression… Just recently I felt overwhelmed with many changes (some sudden, some expected) in my life and one particular visit to the sea, the vastness of space in which mighty waves were rolling and splashing in an ever-changing mode, was a perfect reminder how change is inevitable, how the sea is constantly changing, how every wave is different as so is every moment on this planet and how natural change is as a process of life whether we comprehend the circumstances or not.

Just by observing the waves crashing on the shore felt like each of them carried a relieving gust of wind that threw away hindering thought patterns and redundant beliefs, allowing space for new adventures and skills, new experiences and opportunities to learn more about the world and about myself, the world in me and me in the world. Isn’t it great that we always have a choice of perspective – as it is said: we can moan that rose has thorns or celebrate that thorns have roses.

Hope this letter answers your question, dear T. and that in your time and space you will allow yourself to rediscover your own reminders and experience your very own naked truth that will change the perspective of powerlessness and scarcity into one of strength and… Enoughness? ;)

Hugs

A.

 

November in the Mediterranean

Written by Antonia on November 15th, 2011

 

The meaning of November is different in the Mediterranean, especially this year. It’s warm, sunny and beautiful, particularly when we get to spend more time in the nature like last week.

Several joyous days in Marin and Zeljka’s garden; picking olives from the gorgeous trees that have a marvelous view to the sea on one side, hills on the other and a carpet of wild beauty under their fertile branches…

 

And each of those days, the Sun would give us a sign when it’s time to leave the garden rest for the day…

 

Golden retriever Koko in the golden garden at the golden hour of the golden day…

While writing this we are packing our bags for another trip to the North where November has different meaning and Nature is already resting, withdrawn in the state of dreams…

 

 

Ordinary people, extraordinary moments

Written by Antonia on October 3rd, 2011

„…Society increasingly depends on ordinary people taking responsibility for doing extraordinary things.“ This simple statement in today’s post from A. Gawande, a surgeon and The New Yorker’s columnist, triggered a thought about many people I know, those who even may not be aware how extraordinary and inspirational their deeds are.

 

Many of them are daily present on social networks and we connect via Facebook and Twitter, many don’t even use such things and e-mail is the furthest they’ll go as far as digital communication is concerned and some don’t even own a computer or a telephone. Regardless, they are present in my mind, even if we don’t exchange a word this way or another for months, they pop up at the right time when in need for an energy boost.

 

Whenever I get that awesome feeling of gratefulness for the richness of my life there are always several and many of them included in that feeling. Even when I contemplate some ideas or past actions that to someone would seem I had done on my own, there is a flow of memories of indirectly inspirational and even directly supportive thoughts or deeds of some of my friends, acquaintances, teachers, family members, researchers of various fields of interest or perfect strangers on the streets of this or that village, town or city. Some of them will probably never know how strongly they’ve triggered something nourishing in me, how one word or a glance produced an entire story – a non-fiction trigger for a fiction wrapped outlet.

 

I’ve learned more about myself through them, more about what I can or don’t want to, about what feels more or less right to my authentic self, so many valuable insights, so many playful moments, so many lives…

Even when I choose solitude for a longer period of time in order to get deeper into something I’m researching, I do not shut down the channels for synchronicity, I do not put a lead curtain on the path of telepathy – for so many times I’ve witnessed how precious those unexpected guide-lines can be.

 

There is a saying that the books in our home library are our biography. Yes, various reads influence our thoughts and thus our realities yet even more influential are people with whom we interact,  people we admire and (sub)consciously use as a model on various paths we walk through different periods in life. Those people may seem “ordinary” as individuals yet may have done extraordinary, inspiring, awesome things that may have changed our way of thinking, our way of forming the Reality or simply triggered a smile, a nourishing substance in that particular, extraordinary moment.

 

 

Reminder for T.

Written by Antonia on September 23rd, 2011

Dear T.,

Once you get a muscle fever from “only” doing exercises  in your mind the day before, you get your proof on the power of thoughts or…how “your thoughts shape your reality”… Once you know a person who had surgeries on her knees and they are still painful as well as her joints and many other parts of her body while she always succeeds to tell you a repetitive story of her struggling childhood when she had to carry heavy buckets of water from a remote well, you get your proof how “what you carry inside manifests outside” … Once you hear and witness numerous stories on healing of any dis-ease “only” due to a change in the belief system and vice versa, you get your proof how important it is to question your thoughts and decide what you believe – whether it appears in your mind or you adopt it from someone else… Once you start paying attention to the words you use in everyday communication and notice how a person who keeps mentioning “being stuck in life” develops some kind of foot disease and can’t walk without pain you know how to find a way to release your own “pains in the neck”… Once you become more aware of the quality of thoughts to which you devote space and time or the pictures you create in your mind, you become more aware of how’s and why’s of your reality and you know how to change it for the better, in your own, unique, authentic way, using your own discernment on everything, this letter included  – take it on if it resonates with your deepest self regardless of the fact we’ve talked about such things so many times before and this was just a reminder more than an answer to your question this morning. As usually: all in your own time, in your own truth :) .

Hugs and love,

A.

 

Friendship

Written by Antonia on September 11th, 2011

I have an amazing friend who is so patient with me, tolerates my sudden pauses in the middle of a sentence or when I stop abruptly during our walks… She understands why I sometimes stand like a statue unable to take my eyes of some scene in the nature… and she waits…

Yesterday we took a walk by the sea, a few people still on the beach, catching the warm rays just before the Sun was about to embrace the hill and the scenery in front of us was amazing…The stones emerging from the sea looked like made of gold, purified by a silvery-blue water… Wonderful contrast of tints, shades and tones…Once I got my breath back I started to look for a place to stabilize my camera… Nothing flat was around on the position I wanted to place my camera and the shade was approaching the golden stones…

“Ah, look at that light and the waves…and I can’t find a flat ground to take a longer exposure…”

A few moments later, a perfect, flat piece of stone appears by my side.

“Would this help?”, she asks handing me the stone.

It did help… She did.

The scene gracefully mirrored into my camera… I got my reminder on yet another blissful moment in the nature.

This photograph will always remind me of her patience, as well, of her acceptance of the fact that when it is two of us it’s always one more, my camera, and thanks to her tolerance it never feels like there is a third wheel and I never feel I’m failing her; she waits for either mine or her paused sentences to be completed a bit later, understanding how much those wanderings of light in the nature are magical to me…

Friendships are precious, soul family that heart chooses… One of the definitions of unconditional love…

Friends intuitively feel us even when thousands of kilometres away and send text messages asking how we are in the times no one knows we’ve shut down during a painful moments of growth… Friends are our family with whom we learn, share, support each other and exchange shoulders to lean on and with whom we celebrate and rejoice.

Friends expand our hearts and help us open our minds a bit more every time. They support us in learning more about our authentic selves.

We broaden paths and expand the roads for each other… We hand each other a torch when in need or… find a way to help regain the balance – and sometimes it is not about metaphors and life defining choices, sometimes it is just about a piece of the right stone at the right time…

 

 

 

 

 

A lesson in walking…

Written by Antonia on August 24th, 2011

I hurt my feet (and then they were hurting me for several years)…

I had to change my pace and walk slower, mind more closely where I am going and avoid surfaces that might hit the specific sore spots on my feet. When it became frustrating to be so cautious I decided to turn it into a game: let’s see how many ways there are to make a step… Toes-heel, heel-toes and tons more… And when I’d hit the painful spot anyway and my leg would fall out of control I’d make it as if I was dancing… with reckless abandon…

I decided (yes, again, it’s always about the decision what meaning we give to specific situations) this painful situation with my feet was a metaphor for my “business steps” and where and how I “walked in life” in general, so I was teaching myself the new ways of doing my job(s), studying more as well as learning to be more relaxed, more at ease with the unexpected, handling the surprises, more flexible and just letting go of the old and allowing the new insights. Of course I went beyond metaphors, too and learned more about muscles and bones, about various therapeutic techniques…  Exploring the situation from all angles and still pondering endlessly on what I did wrong and how to avoid it “next time” and then…

All that might have been valuable analysing yet then a reminder of Thich Nhat Hanh’s thoughts arrived:  “ Walk as if you are kissing the earth with your feet…” , and a smile spread all over my face…

For a moment I dropped all the analysing and just enjoyed the loving, gentle lightness invoked by those words…

Sometimes one gets overwhelmed by engaging in all the mind work, the paradox of working hard to learn how to relax.

O, yes, I could have analysed those Hanh’s words as well and could have found at least ten more messages in it, saving some in the files with various labels where I keep updates on numerous techniques and methods for improving the quality of life yet I decided not to and instead just allowed the feelings of lightness and love to spread all over me, for no logical reason at all…

And it felt so good…

Just like a very deep state of bliss, a meditation, breathing technique, a graceful prayer of gratitude, all in one.

Whatever way I do it, it is always beneficial to occasionally let go of all the research, all the open and hidden messages, meanings and lessons or just remind myself: “Walk as if you are kissing the earth with your feet”…

And I do. And every time it’s a different and a wonder-full experience.

Even if it’s just for a moment or two, I feel so good and afterwards I’m ready to go back to whatever I was doing, refreshed on so many levels to keep on walking…

I hurt my feet and then they were teaching me all sorts of lessons for several years yet the most valuable one was to find that lightness in-between the “courses”, that feeling of loving gentleness, that serenity… like when walking as if kissing the earth with my feet.

 

A Very Bearable Lightness Of Being

Written by Antonia on August 16th, 2011

Via the roads less known…

Unlocking the doors of different worlds…

Where perspective changes and three seems like one…

Where changes are accepted and transformations are a natural process of living…

And a peaceful closure of what’s behind, purified path towards restful dreams and a new day.

 

Being.

Written by Antonia on August 1st, 2011

Some moments, minutes, hours, maybe even a day or more of any units of our agreed pattern of time measurement, can feel like an extraordinary present. I feel like saying – those are times for celebration, those are the birthdays… Maybe they happen when that extra mile is walked without really thinking of doing it – someone up there must be doing the math, not me, not us. Maybe those moments, those birthdays mark our growth line; expansion of our hearts, the number of laughs with members of our soul family, the length and width of our walks and talks… Or maybe none of those, just pure awareness of deeply and highly living in the moment, being present. Being. Present.

 

Sunday afternoon

Written by Antonia on July 4th, 2011

Only thirty km from the glittering Mediterranean sea surrounded by hot white stones and square, concrete buildings, away from the city, up the curvy road and then down the hill an amazing sight opens – a lush green planet of wide green fields and tall, large trees nourished by river Cetina.

Meeting such two different worlds in half an hour can have a tremendous effect on one’s state of mind. In one word: joy – joy for witnessing the gorgeous diversity of nature (and culture), two worlds so close to each other yet so different and each precious in its own way.

Silence. Serenity. Spaciousness.

No glossy city reflections, no urge to overtake… Here, everything has a softer, gentler, wider pace.

A few more turns, deeper into the valley, several horses found their way of connecting with other species offering lessons in gentle playfulness, patience and gracefulness.

Precious moments, a wonderful Sunday afternoon in the country.

 

On Twitter

Written by Antonia on June 18th, 2011

So, I’ve joined the network called Twitter.

“Welcome to 2011, darling.”

“Ah, things like that existed hundreds of years ago just functioned on a different level. More on telepathic…” It was more of “that look” chat.

My Soulmate knows me too well. I’ve also resisted Myspace and Facebook for some time just because “everyone” was on it. The moment something takes a mass-following-proportions (it could be a film, a book or whatever), a sort of alarm fires up in me even though I love networking. I just have moments of acting like a concerned hermit who likes to analyze too much before accepting anything. It’s just a pattern that saves me from spreading too thin, I guess. Surely, those moments sometimes last for quite a while but time is a stretchy, personal unit, anyway and it is there to allow space for learning more about oneself (often in order to change – for the better, of course). Yes, now I admit I find Facebook pretty useful since many of my friends and people I like to stay in touch with live far away and I don’t get to see them often, so reading their updates regularly and seeing their photos from the currant fun time or getting to know their family and friends better even in this way is precious.

And now Twitter. Who is it for and why?

I am still figuring it out. My Soulmate keeps telling me he finds it interesting and useful. Well, surely there are loads of his peers, programmers on all web networks sharing latest discoveries of their minds and technologies, still for me…

First I used the search option to find many of maximum 140 character short posts about things I was interested in. Not much different than any search engine yet here it was short, concise and often with a link to wider descriptions plus you quickly get a picture who is behind a post; a person with similar interests, a company with open agenda or even someone you know personally.  It makes a same reference to be considered quite differently and helps get to the fields of interests directly, without first having to deal with flashy front lines of someone else’s idea of what “should” interest you before you reach the desired destination.

I’ve also found some of the people whose work I appreciate and it is lovely to receive updates on their work from their personal perspective and not just as quotes on quotes. Quotes are o.k. at certain moments, as reminders, yet I rather hear how a certain quote influenced someone’s life in particular, what beneficial changes a certain phrase brought to him or to her.

Changes… And… There! An opportunity of one soon presented itself. The Challenge for Ms Ooh, Ooh I Am So Not. The thing is that if you want to get updates from certain people you have to click the button that says „follow“ and thus you become their “follower“ on Twitter. Er… Follower? Sounds guruish. Not my thing. Ha! Do I smell a challenge here? However, that’s the linguistic approach on the network called „Twitter“ so if I wanted to explore it I had to accept certain rules. Right. What to do but change the meaning of the word „follow“ in my mind? Few minutes of some reframing and I was smiling at my own recent states. (O.K. I did more than that as I also used this as an opportunity to dig deeper and realize why do I resist that word so much yet explanation of that process and it’s results would require writing several posts if not a book!) The letters haven’t changed their shape or sequence while forming a word but my perception of it’s meaning has changed.

I love words. I love how we can change a context and a certain word can change our inner worlds. „We change“, „I“, „you“… I’ve already mentioned on this blog that when I write „you“ or „we“ I mean „I“. And I find the „I“ in other people’s posts. Mirrors all around.

So I’m discovering many mirrors on Twitter. Some of them might not even be aware how some of their tweets (!) might have reflected or brought a smile to an unknown face. There are many things we don’t need to know as there are many we benefit from by bringing them into our daily awareness. It’s all about balancing between the known and unknown. All we need comes our way, anyway. Sometimes it takes chasing Kairos’ hair yet those moments of avoiding a touch of serendipitous moment are also challenges to learn from, so there is a gain in every way.

A few days on Twitter already brought me some new challenges, i.e. some new opportunities to question several patterns I’ve previously chosen to explore.

Also, as previously on the network called „Facebook“, some friends get reconnected via Twitter and searching on certain topic can bring more interesting/useful results on Twitter than on other search engines as far as time efficiency is concerned.

All in all, I’ve decided I like it so far. As long as I do, I’ll see it as a contribution to this time and space, another way of people sharing their thoughts, exchanging ideas, learning, finding new peers, connecting and reconnecting.

Yes, of course, element of fun must be included and so far it is so.

There. I think this might be the longest text I’ve posted on this blog so far. Thoughts described with so many words usually don’t end up on my blogs, why now? Hm… Now, there is a challenge: analyzing that in less than 140 characters?

Sharing is caring.
May be if we decide that’s what it means to us and allow it. We get what we focus on, anyway ;) .